never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
