just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
