Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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