shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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