scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Even the bartender felt bad for me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
