Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
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