Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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