i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Still dying that you shit outside
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
