Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
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I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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