we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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