Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
