My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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