he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
