so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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