I heard we made out
honey bunches of taint.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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