In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
