On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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