I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
