yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
