Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
