Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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