ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
