remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
