I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
