Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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