I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
