so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
