There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Drunk is a universal language darling
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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