i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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