Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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