New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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