never play flip cup with pint glasses
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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