he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize