Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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