Yo dont text me then not text me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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