I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
