You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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