He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
