I could have mohawked her pubes.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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