I can't breathe out the right side of my face
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
