And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she pinky promised me she was 18
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
