I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize