have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
