Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Enjoy the penises
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
