Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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