Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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