Tell her she can't have a vagina
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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