M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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