Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
