do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
