my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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