I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
