Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
