Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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