umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
