You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
