So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
